Hiiiii Olympio Justin Jacob Martinezzzzzzzzzzz WOOOOOOO your name took a decade off my life, and I'm not even complaining ｡◕‿◕｡

You reading this means that I decided to tell you the truth and... now that I think about it I don't think I'll be able to tell you the truth, at all. I hate myself so much, this isn't even me joking, I actually hate myself to that extent. You made it so much worse, to be quite honest, but don't even dare think that it's your fault. It's just, you're way too out of my league in a way that we both wouldn't comprehend or maybe it's just me not wanting to understand it. I can't even put my thoughts into words right now. It's just I feel so bad, I feel so fucking bad (sorry for cursing, it's intentional ????)

Before you read what I'm about to write below, make sure to understand, UNDERSTAND AND UNDERSTAND that this is a me problem, not a you problem. I don't want you blaming yourself simply because I'm bad at wording words.

First of all, I regret talking to you in the first place. I hope I just ignored you when you talked about phonk and Chase Atlantic. It all started with those. I said to myself that I wouldn't respond to you the next morning because I was certain you're gonna reach out again, but since I'm really good at oversharing when someone is actually listening, HALLELUJAH!???????????????? I decided to keep talking to you. I like talking to you, let me rephrase that, I love talking to you ???? This is the only time that I'll admit something I love about you. When you actually confessed that you had or have a crush on me, I was out of words, like literally, I knew at that moment that I fucked (pardon my vulgarity ????) up and I should actually consider not talking to you. It's not because I was creeped out or because I don't want to be involved with you. It's YOU, who shouldn't want to me involved with ME. You have all the rights because I know that you'll realize soon enough that what I'm writing now makes sense.

I'm so sorry, I'm actually bawling my eyes out right now (in case you wanted to know but I know that you hate drama so I made sure to include that ????) I'm really so frustrated because even though you're gonna read this after a couple of months you wouldn't even know what I'm referring to. I can't give you the context, but I want you to interpret this in the right way. I'm really sorry, about everything I've been saying and doing.

I don't know anymore, I'm so confused and I'm so broken because I can't be friends or even interact with you without worrying about this certain issue about myself. I hate it so much, so fucking much to the point I had to write this to you.

I can't even explain my side. I want to be happy and be me and be friends with you. I want to actually interact with you because you're such a good person (not at all times but you get the point) but I can't and knowing that fact has been eating me up for a while now. I'm sorry.

I don't want to talk to you anymore. Not because I don't want to, but because I can't.

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